Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Memo to Bill:

Dude, you did your best.

Nobody can accuse you of throttling back or showing any hesitation about muscling Hillary into the White House. Hell -- if anything, your occasional over-the-top jabs at Barack are all the evidence anyone could need that you have met your poli-marital obligations. Setting yourself up for "that man crazy!" from time to time is a great way to prove this ain't no half-hearted debate society resolution for you.

But now it's time to reveal that secret I think I guessed at last January. You're off to a sloppy start: I know there is thunder not to be stolen from the Hillary & Barack show later this week, but don't do this through a spokesman anymore. Also, don't use words like "obviously," which everybody knows is a way of boasting about not concealing a grudging admission.

It's been a tough year. It'll probably get worse before it gets better, before you can continue your dream retirement of going wherever you want, talking about philanthropy and theoretical politics to swooning, silent audiences and calling up world leaders for late suppers.

But first, you have to get over it. You have shake off the game face you even convinced yourself was real.

It's time to start imagining a world without Hillary.

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