Planet Abell

I don't know why I was on the 'undisclosed recipients' list this went to, and have no idea who Trev was. But there was something about the proper, restrained, just plain British-ness of this anouncement which I found very moving: Just a note to say Trev passed away peacefully on 16 August surrounded by his family.   His services will no longer be available. Should you have  any  questions or issues please don't hesitate to contact myself (niece) or his son via the email  address: [redacted] and we will endevour to help where we can.   I would like to thank those of you for your emails of concern. This is very much appreciated. Trev will be sadly missed.     All the very best to you all.     Regards     Dawn +John C Abell

Wired colleague Dave Mosher shared this on Google+ this morning , and graciously granted reprint rights to Planet Abell. We are choosing to believe this was spam, and not a perfectly-targeted solicitation ...  Hey Dave,   I'm reaching out to you because  *******  is getting a lot of job leads for clowns, and I'm looking for another clown who is interested in taking on more clients.   After checking out your website [Here is Dave's web site : Ed]I think you are a great fit for  *******  and I'd love to start sending you job leads. Please fill out a few details about your skills and rates, and I'll start forwarding you potential new clients. If you have any questions about what  *******  can provide, please don't hesitate to ask.   Thanks, Heather +John C Abell

Quote unquote. Only the contact info is redacted Dear Escort / Masseuse / Dancer   My name is ... and I’m a Los Angeles criminal defense lawyer. If you ever encounter unexpected trouble with undercover vice, for not having a city license, prostitution or drug possession, you will need a skilled and experienced lawyer, not a public defender to present your side of the story in court.   Los Angeles escorts, masseuses and dancers like you, whom I defended in court over the past fourteen years got their charges  dismissed and reduced, and received no jail time. You will usually not need to attend court as I handle your matter from beginning to end. When the court case is completed,  I will expunge your case, clearing this incident from public view.   If an unexpected situation with undercover vice ever arises, I respectfully invite you to call my law offices for a free consultation, so that we may confidentially discuss the best course of action for your case. +John C Abell

We all get tons of spam, but I'm double lucky in the personal e-mail department because a) GMail actually stops tons of it and b) a good friend run my incoming through a whitelist server at a secret and undisclosed location before anything reaches my inbox. At work, I'm not so lucky. Entourage does absolutely nothing useful to deal with even obvious spam, and trying to manipulate junk settings and rules is pointless. So I do a lot of deleting. And almost no reading beyond the subject line. I don't know why this particular piece of spam caught my eye, but the horrible bot-like translation and gibberish in this common come-on is almost poetic -- title and all:  Waiting  How are you today my love?  My name is Vera Desmond, her 23-year-old romance of Rwanda in Central  Africa, I want to make friendship with you, I believe that age, race and  language. Distance has an impact on. A good relationship does not exist.  I was very happy to see your respon...