It felt good.
I spoke up at my Saturday meeting -- during the "scale and non-scale victories" portion at the end -- and got a nice reaction. "You're one of us!" one of the lifetime members kidded me. "Do you think it's bloating?" joked another lifer, who reached her goal after losing 187 pounds -- 87 with WW after she hit a wall dropping 100 on her own.
Our leader asked how I felt about it. My first reaction was, "Damn, I lost a week!" I replied. But then, I told her I had realized, "I lost a week from what?"
I confess, the losing pace has been a game for me. I have wanted to lose something — anything — in an unrelenting race to a finish line that I have moved further away once and will push away again. Along the way, I've come to many new understandings with myself. I have grown indifferent to some foods that were once staples for me, no longer equate quantity with satisfaction, and now realize that (Patton and mathematics notwithstanding) the shortest distance between two points isn't necessarily a straight line.
The ability to veer from the straight and narrow and then recover is one of life's most important all-purpose skills. The ability to leverage a lapse or a even a failure into an opportunity is the point. Education is at least as much about learning to learn as it is knowing how to diagram a sentence or what was wrong with the Articles of Confederation.
As weeks go, this was a good one to end my run. I had a birthday on Tuesday, and had cake (homemade vegan orange) and Soy Delicious Turtle ice cream. I have also worked out every morning, and incorporated a new exercise: taking the stairs at work (14 flights) at least twice a day, both directions.
It's possible that some of the 3.8 pounds I put back on were in part muscle weight -- booster and friend and GeekMom Jenny Williams has encouraged me to believe this, and I am inclined to agree, for what it's worth, since I have only introduced regular cardio and weight training in the past couple of weeks.
It has also been extremely hot, and our leader suggested that we are all retaining a bit more water because of that (Hey: I AM bloated!)
But none of the explanations matter, because the gain doesn't matter, this week, next week or in the grand scheme of things.
I had another blowout day Saturday, the day my family celebrated my birthday. We went to Jolo's Kitchen, I had two (2!) more servings of the cake and ice cream back at home, I snacked on pop chips.
And then, today, and tomorrow, it's back on the horse.
PS: After an incalculable amount of food Saturday, and my morning workout, and no breakfast yet, I was another pound up Sunday morning -- which is less than my typical gain on a Sunday. So a) go figure and b) this is a great way to begin Week 23.
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