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Showing posts from 2011

A Christmas Story

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I always get presents for the cats at Christmas. I'm conflicted, but not a complete jerk, and frankly it's fun to help Santa out. They get some kind of shiny, chasy toy or some battery-powered thing which moves about by itself and holds their attention for five seconds. This year have a ferret (long story). This is our Christmas with Lucy (the ferret) and so, of course, she had to be made to feel part of the family. I found some squeezy toys at Target in the $1 bin (I'm sentimental, but, as you may recall, conflicted) — the sort of thing that she instinctively drags around with super-ferret strength and hoards and hides in various places around the house. Nothing she can grab with her teeth is safe: socks, toothbrushes (the abandoned kind, not those in current rotation), even shoes. Any open dresser drawer is a sanctuary. If only she'd put in the sock drawer ... but instead I find some beanie baby in there, and socks in a corner of an unused closet. This year I

Lifetime: Now, The Tough Part

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I'm not much for Signs from Heaven except, of course, when there are so abundantly OBVIOUS even Mr. Spock would put aside logic and raise his hands and say "D'uh!" It's Dec. 10, one year to the day from when the picture below (left, if you have any doubts) was snapped. It remains my official bio pic at Wired and though I would love to swap it out for obvious reasons I'm not really working very hard to get that done. It's a good reminder of where I was, and what a difference a year can make. This is also, as fate would have it, the first day that I weighed in as a Lifetime Member of Weight Watchers , which I joined on Feb. 19 — 80.6 pounds ago. Completing the trilogy (every good sign is comprised of a trilogy, silly) is the fact that my number was 155: my goal weight, to the ounce. It's a good sign. My six-week maintenance was a bit of a parabola but I began and ended it within (below, actually) the requisite two-pound leeway which will gran

Week 35: GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!

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Ok. No more farting around . Well, actually, there is quite a lot of farting. I think it's the fruit. That's another story. After eight months, almost to the day, I've hit my goal weight and now begin Weight Watchers maintenance. After 37 weeks of trying to lose weight ( and the last nine , where I didn't net/net at all), I had a serendipitously successful seven days: Nine pounds lost, three under my target. Under maintenance, which last six weeks, I get to eat more, to stop losing. At the end of six weeks, if I am within two pounds above or below 155, I get to be a life member: I never have to pay a cent again to go to meetings as long as I stay in the four-pound range, weighing in officially once a month now instead of once a week. I cannot say that I have fully grasped this yet. So far, this is a typical Saturday, which means that in a few hours there will be gin and more than the usual amount of eating — that's the way it is in the hours after the week

Week 33: The 2% Solution

It's possible to lose all the weight you want just by eating less, of course. The math is simple: Burn more calories than you consume. Exercise is a force multiplier, and if you do it right it won't lead to a bigger appetite (offsetting the benefit of burning more calories in the course of any given 24 hours) and will self-reinforce staying consistent. Good news: The "bigger appetite" part almost takes care of itself: turns out that exercise is something of an appetite suppressant. Also, when you are actually doing it, it isn't possible to eat much of anything, so it is an opportunity suppressant as well. The best thing to eat to take the edge off, right after a workout, is protein, which goes directly to the muscles instead of the hips. The best kind of protein is up to you; before I was a vegan I had a ton of turkey bacon and eggs right after a run or bike ride. Now I have prepared tofu or a protein bar. It's even more important to stay with it. For me,

Week 32: Standing and Snacking

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Metro North Station, White Plains ABOARD THE 7:01 HARLEM LINE TRAIN -- Every rail commuter knows a thing or two about seat etiquette (Example: Real men don't vie for the middle one) and where to position oneself on the platform, factoring in the station and time of day, to maximize the possibility if scoring one. It's exhausting. And, just like flying, the window seat is good for exactly the opposite of what the aisle seat is good for, and neither are good for everything. I've always played the game, pleased that when I commute I can almost always score a seat. But it's a flimsy victory. It occurred to me, as part of my standing campaign, to stand during the 50 minutes or so each way. Like my uncle taught me when I was a lad, I don't lean or support myself in any way (unless there is turbulence), the better to improve balance and burn calories and work on the core. What a revelation! In addition to the health benefit (small, but cumulative) I realized I

Week 32: Tracking, And Back On Track

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My Week 31 post pretty much laid out the unusual week I had , but in a nutshell (strange how many metaphors are food related): I weighed 171 yesterday morning, and 158.8 this morning. That puts me further away from my goal of 155 pounds — from which I had been a tantalizingly-close 0.02 pounds for the previous two weeks. But it was a fine week, and I enjoyed myself, so much so that I expected the damage to be much worse. I spent that last 24 hours not starving myself or putting on some other kind of straight jacket, but just sticking with the program, returning to my original course and speed, recovering. This morning I've had my usual bounty of fruit, and started the day with my usual workout routine. I think I was properly rewarded for that behavior, and appropriately dunned for not tracking much last week, and having a no-holds-barred anniversary dinner for which I have no regrets. I have a new commitment now for not treating the weekend as a lost cause -- I exaggerat

Week 31: Oy Vey

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Bloated me. I suspected this week was going to be a challenge, but that's a word and a half. My Saturday weigh-in was fine: no change, 0.02 from my goal of 155. But a mere six days later I am at 171! That is a gain of 16 pounds. I don't see it. Nancy doesn't see it. I still fit fine in my goal-weight pants. But, I have been eating a lot this week, and not exercising as much, and that is what happens. I don't think I'll be tipping the scales at what is my July 9 weight (week 20 ) tomorrow morning. But I'll almost certainly be in the 160s. So what happened? I was on vacation this week, away from work and at home for an extended period for the first time since I began Weight Watchers seven months ago. Four of these six days I didn't track. Monday we had a no-holds-barred anniversary dinner which included Margaritas, beer, a burrito that could have sunk the Titanic and even dessert. I've been snacking too much on salty things. I've been

Saddest Piece of Spam, Ever

I don't know why I was on the 'undisclosed recipients' list this went to, and have no idea who Trev was. But there was something about the proper, restrained, just plain British-ness of this anouncement which I found very moving: Just a note to say Trev passed away peacefully on 16 August surrounded by his family.   His services will no longer be available. Should you have  any  questions or issues please don't hesitate to contact myself (niece) or his son via the email  address: [redacted] and we will endevour to help where we can.   I would like to thank those of you for your emails of concern. This is very much appreciated. Trev will be sadly missed.     All the very best to you all.     Regards     Dawn +John C Abell

Week 30: De-Accentuating 'Meal Events'

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I closed my seventh month on Weight Watchers with another unusual week, scheduling wise. It allowed me muy best opportunity to far to test new theory of eating — and the result is a solid loss of 1.6 pounds . My Google Spreadsheet says I've lost 100 percent to goal, but the truth is that I am 0.02 pounds from my goal of 155 pounds (I mean I was , before enjoying myself thoroughly last night, which is my custom on weigh-in day...) My new mantra is, don't call them "meals," and don't even call them "servings." The nomenclature can be pejorative and can allow one to manufacture a behavioral paradox in which over-eating is unavoidable, or at least easier to justify. It's not a new problem, this business of having meals versus grazing. Huge numbers of fit and healthy people are in both camps. My judgement is, however, that a substantial number of people who need to learn how to eat properly, again, for the first time, would be better off grazing

Week 29: A Stand Up Guy

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My home workspace, with makeshift risers under the front legs of my desk. I've added a new little dimension to my health-kick lifestyle : Standing as much as possible. I've always had an affinity for standing, although people who stand for a living will tell you that any chance not to is Heavenly. But even U.S. Marine grunts have a rule about this which, from any other outfit, might sound downright lazy: Never stand when you can sit Never sit when you can lie down Never stay awake when you can sleep I still remember my uncle telling me when I was six or seven that standing while riding the New York City subway was good practice about learning to keep your balance, which, he said, would come in very handy while on a ship at sea. Since our family had no maritime history or prospects I had no idea how this random suggestion could be a practical life skill. But my uncle was/is a cool guy, and it sounded cool, the way the acquisition of almost any skill does.   As it h

Week 28: Up, and Away

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Crazy week. I put on 1.6 pounds , putting me that amount above my all-time low weight. In and of itself, not to worry. That kind of fluctuation is normal, and when on maintenance anything within two pounds is a gimme. Prior to my last weigh in on Saturday it was the week of Hurricane Irene, and while the storm itself was meh the aftermath was pretty interesting: We had a four-day power outage in my neck of the woods. On the first day even the data networks on my mobile phones were dead, unwiring me off in a new and strange and exceedingly pleasant way. After Saturday's weigh in I somehow managed to balloon to nearly 168 pounds by Tuesday — 10 pounds above the low-water mark. I was off the reservation  on Saturday and Sunday, but not horribly or more than I had ever been (there was a gin factor, and a bit of Open Bag Syndrome with the Pop Chips, and maybe too much protein bar indulgement. So, I cut back on portions of free "power" foods. I eat a lot of fruit, w

Week 27: A New Beginning

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It was a triple witching Saturday: I reached by goal of 160 pounds, hit the 75-pounds-lost milestone and attended the first meeting with a new leader after having gone six months with the same one. But, for a number of reasons, I've decided to re-set my goal for the second and last time, to 155. The least silly of those reasons is that 160 is the highest acceptable weight for my height (5'6") it the highest, and it strikes me that shooting only for that would be the sort of cop-out I've been trying to vanquish. It seems like a blur, and that it hasn't take very long to get here. And that makes me wonder how hard I will work to protect my position. A big part of the reason that I have tried to be so transparent is so I couldn't retreat very easily. I'm at 158.5 as of this morning, another new decade and the last I intend to crack. I'm told that maintaining can be tougher than losing, as you learn to adjust to eating more — but not much more. I&#

Week 26: Losing, and losing.

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Joan says goodbye. First, the good news ... For my weekly meeting weigh-in on Saturday I tipped the scales at 160.8 : a frustratingly 0.02 pounds away (relatively speaking, of course) from the 75-pound, trinket-level milestone   and 0.08 from my goal weight of 160 pounds. It was the usual nutsy Saturday morning on the scale: Despite a very tame Friday and not eating terribly late the night before, my wake-up weight was 164.8 — more than two pounds above my previous weigh-in despite an entire week of behaving myself, and nearly four above my best weight during the previous seven days. With my usual morning workout, perhaps a bit heavier on the cardio, I shed four pounds of what I can only assume was water weight. Sheesh. This means that I am likely to hit my goal next week about six months after I started Weight Watchers in as winter waned. It marks the end of a beginning in what our leader describes, without a hint of the schmaltziness it must seem in print, a "journ

Spam Gold: Can't Sleep, Clowns Will Eat Me

Wired colleague Dave Mosher shared this on Google+ this morning , and graciously granted reprint rights to Planet Abell. We are choosing to believe this was spam, and not a perfectly-targeted solicitation ...  Hey Dave,   I'm reaching out to you because  *******  is getting a lot of job leads for clowns, and I'm looking for another clown who is interested in taking on more clients.   After checking out your website [Here is Dave's web site : Ed]I think you are a great fit for  *******  and I'd love to start sending you job leads. Please fill out a few details about your skills and rates, and I'll start forwarding you potential new clients. If you have any questions about what  *******  can provide, please don't hesitate to ask.   Thanks, Heather +John C Abell

Spam Gold: Dear Escort / Masseuse / Dancer

Quote unquote. Only the contact info is redacted Dear Escort / Masseuse / Dancer   My name is ... and I’m a Los Angeles criminal defense lawyer. If you ever encounter unexpected trouble with undercover vice, for not having a city license, prostitution or drug possession, you will need a skilled and experienced lawyer, not a public defender to present your side of the story in court.   Los Angeles escorts, masseuses and dancers like you, whom I defended in court over the past fourteen years got their charges  dismissed and reduced, and received no jail time. You will usually not need to attend court as I handle your matter from beginning to end. When the court case is completed,  I will expunge your case, clearing this incident from public view.   If an unexpected situation with undercover vice ever arises, I respectfully invite you to call my law offices for a free consultation, so that we may confidentially discuss the best course of action for your case. +John C Abell

Week 25: One Of Us

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I'm down four pounds this week — two away from 75 total and my goal weight of 160. It feels as though I am tracking correctly again after a month of gaining and losing the same 4-5 pounds in a see-saw session that rivaled last week on Wall Street. But the biggest deal is that my daily PointsPlus allotment has been reduced to 29 — the fewest that Weight Watchers allows anyone. When I started this six months ago, at 235.6 pounds , I had 43 PointsPlus to play with every day. That amount was significantly higher than most around me (I learned and inferred from those occasions when it came up in a meeting) and gave me great latitude. That, in turn, made it much easier to stick with it — how can you find fault with a weight loss program under which it is possible to have a Massive Martini every day and still lose at a pace of more than three pounds a week? Forty-three points was high, but far from the highest, which is 89 points. But 29 is the fewest: It is even the amount allotte

Spam Gold: Vera Desmond — or Desmond Vera?

We all get tons of spam, but I'm double lucky in the personal e-mail department because a) GMail actually stops tons of it and b) a good friend run my incoming through a whitelist server at a secret and undisclosed location before anything reaches my inbox. At work, I'm not so lucky. Entourage does absolutely nothing useful to deal with even obvious spam, and trying to manipulate junk settings and rules is pointless. So I do a lot of deleting. And almost no reading beyond the subject line. I don't know why this particular piece of spam caught my eye, but the horrible bot-like translation and gibberish in this common come-on is almost poetic -- title and all:  Waiting  How are you today my love?  My name is Vera Desmond, her 23-year-old romance of Rwanda in Central  Africa, I want to make friendship with you, I believe that age, race and  language. Distance has an impact on. A good relationship does not exist.  I was very happy to see your response.  Thank you f

Week 24: Give A Penny, Take A Penny

Another gain for me, my second, and slight -- i.e., within the range that would not have jeopardized a lifetime Weight Watchers status if I was at goal. But it's my second gain in three weeks, and basically I have maintained for a month, with two gains and two losses and no movement in either direction. This is fine, of course, except ... I am working harder than ever on the exercise front, and had no "excesses" this week. It is still fine because I am probably trading some fat for some muscle and because muy body is probably making another one of those larger adjustments as I settle into a range with which it is entirely unfamiliar. And it is fine just because it is fine: it isn't demoralizing, and this isn't a race. And it feels as though I am solidly in the 160s, poised to declare a new goal somewhere in the 150s. New this week: I rediscovered my joy of running, and ability to do same. The occasion was a business trip which took me to DC and a fabulous b

In Social Media, Just Like In Presidential Elections, It's About A Choice

Someone added me to a group on Facebook yesterday -- which I didn't even think was possible, since my privacy settings there are akin to "I was never here." Very annoying. So annoying that I not only left that group, but the small handful of others I had joined, for one reason or another, primarily fellowship for whomever was the admin, because I don't participate in any FB reindeer games anyway. But that transaction clarified one of the important, deep philosophical differences between FB and G+ (and all the other non-FB's I venture to say). And my own relationship with FB -- indifference, but a "need" to be there -- may not be as atypical as I imagine. Throwing more and more water on little fires that crop up here and there spotlight what could be fundamentally different dynamics at competing social networks, and over time that can have a material negative impact on what had been a monopoly. One of the interesting aspects of the G+ era is that Goog

Week 23: Losing That Last Five Pounds

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The dreaded weigh-in table It is a bit surreal, but I am now that person who can say, "I'm trying to lose five pounds" and not sound delusional. It does sound pretentious, which isn't better, but it's true. I am within five pounds of my goal of 160 . I'm down 70 since I started on Weight Watchers 24 weeks ago. At this week's meeting the subject of maintenance was front and center. We have several life members in our group, and they all say that as tough as it is to lose it's at least as tough to stay at a given weight. Lifers at WW only have to weigh in once a month -- not weekly -- to retain their status (which includes the fantastic benefit of not having to pay for meetings) and need to stay within two pounds of their goal weight. That is two pounds up or down, btw: a means of ensuring that you don't declare higher than you intend to lose and cheat the organization out of dues. My trip has been pretty rapid, and I have not really

Week 22: What Goes Up Must Come Down

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It was a good run, but every good run must come to an end: After losing something every week since I joined Weight Watchers one Feb 19, I gained weight last week. It felt good. I spoke up at my Saturday meeting -- during the "scale and non-scale victories" portion at the end -- and got a nice reaction. "You're one of us!" one of the lifetime members kidded me. "Do you think it's bloating?" joked another lifer, who reached her goal after losing 187 pounds -- 87 with WW after she hit a wall dropping 100 on her own. Our leader asked how I felt about it. My first reaction was, "Damn, I lost a week!" I replied. But then, I told her I had realized, "I lost a week from what?" I confess, the losing pace has been a game for me . I have wanted to lose something — anything — in an unrelenting race to a finish line that I have moved further away once and will push away again. Along the way, I've come to many new understandings w

Week 21: A New Decade

Twenty-one weeks on Weight Watchers is no particular milestone, but for me it's huge: I cracked through the 170-pounds barrier, and am now in a new "decade." My official weigh-in was 166.4 , and I partied a little on Saturday (that means an extra veggie burger, three servings of chips and enough sugary desert to fit in the palm of my hand) so my weight is up today. But in the 160s I will stay. I continue to obsessively weigh myself, a bit of advice that isn't for everyone ( number 4 in this post ) but which is, if you can stand it, the best way to keep on top of things and not become depressed as you get in touch with how your body gains and losses inexplicably during the course of the week. My personal trajectory has been extremely fortuitous. I have lost weight every week, 21 in a row, for my official Saturday morning Weight Watchers meeting weigh-in. Seemingly no matter what I do the rest of Saturday, I will have "gained" by Sunday. I "lose&qu

The Joke Is, I Don't Wear Shoes Unless I Have To

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During my 2-1/2 years+ between jobs a while back I discovered two very important things about myself. I would have no trouble keeping myself happy and occupied in retirement I hate wearing shoes I mean any shoes. The most comfortable sneakers. Hush Puppies, if I could get away with not getting beaten up. Terry bath slippers. I shed them all and discovered the joys of bearing my feet, walking, running and doing nothing at all. To accommodate polite society I did develop an affection for flip-flops. I wore out my first pair in two years and in 2007 bought a pair of Rainbows for the outlandish price of $45 on the advice of a kid I should not have trusted. I wear them constantly, to this day. Excellent value prop. But I digress. A couple of years ago I had the pleasure of dining with an eclectic group of people including Shane and Shawn Ward, the shoe entrepreneurs. We stayed in touch, and one day they graciously, and with zero warning, gave my wide-eyed daughter and I a backstage

Four Months, and a New 'Decade'

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  I didn't have my greatest weight loss this week but I (knock wood) continued my unbroken string of dropping something every week , and 1.8 pounds is good by any standard. But the real headline for me is that I've entered a new "decade" -- the 170s. Barely, but I'll take it . It's been exactly four calendar months since I started Weight Watchers and I expect these 20-ish pounds to go to be the most difficult. Transparency is the most powerful inoculation against poor progress. Also, here is some weird psychology: When I was at my heaviest, I knew I was fat, but seldom felt that way. Now, 56 pounds less, I know where every ounce of excess poundage is -- and I feel every bit of it.

Weeks 16: Habits

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When you have been with Weight Watchers for 16 weeks your leader gives you a charm in the shape of clapping hands. It's one of several charms you earn as you reach significant milestones. Losing 10% of body weight gains you a keyring which will hold future charms. When you drop 25 and 50 pounds you win a silver and gold barbell, respectively. I got the unusual 5K charm pictured to the right by participating in a group walk one recent Sunday. These carrots are an effective way of getting members to stick to  carrots (metaphorical or not) in the same way game designers (and Foursquare) have discovered that bestowing even a virtual prize can be a powerful incentive to someone to keep moving forward. What's the 16 weeks about? It is to acknowledge some conventional wisdom that if you do something for that long, it becomes a habit. Habits can be broken, however. I broke the toughest one a quarter century ago when I finally quit smoking for good. At various times I've als

The Catch-22 of Google Books

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It’s almost a Zen Koan: How many books does a library make? For Google the answer is: “All of them.” As of last August that particular number was about 129 million, and since then probably tens of thousands have been added to the world’s shelves, even if you exclude Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi’s A Shore Thing . Some tiny fraction of that immense number is good enough for nearly every library in the world, be it the Library of Congress, the world’s largest, or modest locations which are no less devoted to the preservation and dispensation of the world’s collected knowledge. For Google, though, it’s all or nothing: The Google Books Project — “one company’s audacious attempt to create the largest and most comprehensive library in the history of the world” as wired.com correspondent Ryan Singel put it — began nearly a decade ago. The initiative has seen its up and downs over the years. But it hit a serious roadblock last week when a judge ruled that a difficultly-forg

Libya, Obama and the Politics of Rationales

I take as a given that it is impossible for sovereign states to be consistent in any meaningful way, and that there are degrees of pretense to projecting consistency. What interests me here is that there isn't any particular US interest in eradicating the world of Gaddafi, and apart from the bluster of attacking his own people bent on attacking him (a peculiarly internal matter, one might even argue) no new one from a month or so ago. So given that world leaders pick and choose their rationales like fruit at a Middle East market, we can only judge (I think) the intent by how far today's rationale is from self-interest. As I see it, Obama's failure here is entirely in the realm of domestic politics, which as these things go is exactly the right place you want to weak when lives are at stake. Which has no bearing on the creation of a new precedent that cannot possibly be consistently adhered to without new conditions to tomorrow's rational for action, or inaction. [Libya

The New York Times Pricing Scheme: Dumb, or Brilliant?

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Among the harsh criticism heaped on the New York Times for having the audacity to introduce a digital subscription model is that the pricing tiers are confusing, or self-defeating because they leave gaping holes for readers to game the system and thus make anyone who doesn't feel like an idiot. I'm normally sympathetic to this kind of argument. It's why I avoid roll-your-own fixed priced restaurant menus, convinced I will get screwed because I won't be able to reel in the best value from that sea of possibilities. In other words: Complex pricing blocks the road to assessing value. Daring Fireball's always insightful John Gruber puts it this way : One thing many companies — in any industry — can learn from Apple is the importance of simple pricing. If you make it easy for people to understand how much they’re paying, and what they’re paying for, it is more likely that they’ll buy it. Or perhaps this is driven more by the converse: if people are confused

The Web Isn’t Dead: Newspaper Edition

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For all the talk about whether apps could be the salvation for newspapers, one little question has been glossed over: Are apps actually a disservice to readers of what, for lack of a better description, we still call newspapers? The key advantage of the Internet over radio or TV is immediacy. Stories fly straight from pocket-sized devices to a great discussion in the sky with no friction being heard. Short bursts of information — as much or even less data than traders on the exchange floor use to make snap, million-dollar decisions — are what drive the conversation now. Newspapers all have, or could have, vibrant web sites. Web sites are exciting because they are immediate, hamstrung only buy the stupidity of servers, how much traffic they can handle and how fast the Internet is working today. You share a story, and BOOM, there it is: Waiting to be discovered by random travelers, spotlighted by RSS, Tweets, Facebook updates and shared by a geometrical progres

What to Make of the Machine? It's Elementary, My Dear Watson

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I missed the first day of IBM Watson's assault on humanity, played out innocently on a game show. But Tuesday's edition of Jeopardy was as demoralizing for my human side as it was exhilarating for the android in me. Part of the fun is what the IBM Language Team came up with to make humans comfortable in Watson's presence. The supercomputer has inflection, and a tone which puts one in the mind of Hal9000 before, well, you know. Watson mixed it up once with a "Let's finish out ..." the category, instead of just naming the category and amount. There was also some frailty on display when Watson gives the same wrong answer as another competitor — I have seen humans do this, so why not a supercomputer? With Watson, though, weakness isn't seen as something with which to commiserate but rather a way to cling to a small hope that we aren't sowing the seeds of our own destruction, as predicted in countless Sci-Fi stories and screenplays. Watching Watson is remar